BMW i8, Audi A3, it’s been emotional, yo..
- IT’S TIME TO WAVE MY GOODBYE’S..
- WHAT AN EXHILARATING EXPERIENCE IT HAS BEEN..
- WITH MANY INCREDIBLY FUN-FUELLED MILES DRIVEN..
But when it’s time, it’s time..
My BMW i8 and Audi A3 saloon have been the joys of my days for a good amount of time now, but I cannot help thinking more about the pressure that is upon my mind, body and soul every minute of the day while being the proud owner of these cars.
It’s an incredibly strange feeling that is running through my head everyday maintaining these possessions in my life.
It’s almost like a mist of pressure that sits at the end of my bed every morning when I wake up, and every night before I close my eyes to go to sleep.
- A pressurising feeling that haunts the inside of me.
- A love hate relationship which is greatly challenging the juggle.
- A friendship that seems superior yet that can be broken in an instant.
The feeling of owning these cars are like no other. I am finding great difficulty in explaining the true feeling of what have and am currently experiencing in relation to this.
I feel trapped.
- Almost like a prisoner inside my own self created jail.
- A public prisoner who has set himself up for self execution.
As crazy as this may sound, this is honestly the best way that I can describe the feeling to you.
How is it possible for a supercar such as the BMW i8 to create such crazy feelings?! If somebody can help answer this question, that’d be great, because I am seriously struggling to do so.
Emotions aside, let me talk to you about the actual costings of these cars (ALL DETAILS INCLUDED):
The Audi A3 Saloon Sport
Agreement: Lease (3-years)
Initial deposit: £1,400 (approx)
Monthly payment: £250 (approx)
Annual tax: FREE (part of the lease agreement)
Monthly fuel cost: £200 (approx)
My reasoning for getting this car:
Apart from the obvious fact of it being an Audi, I actually took this car out because my Amazon FBA business was turning over a massive amount of revenue per month (upwards of £25,000 with 35% NET profit margins). Prior to rollin’ around in baby blue (the Audi), I was cruising around in a little silver banged up Renault Clio. It was fine, it did the job from getting me from point A to point B (I actually sold this car for £600 cash without my parents knowing, it wasn’t even my car). But to me, I knew I could be driving around in a comfier and much nicer looking car.
I simply started looking lease deals for cars online and then I saw a deal spring up with the Audi, and I went for it. Just two weeks later, the car was delivered to my home, it felt nothing short of spectacular knowing I made something happen for myself. Nobody can ever take that away from me, not ever.
While business continued to grow at a very rapid pace, I continued to spend money. Money that I should of never been splashing out on myself, buying materialistic possessions just for the fun of it.
Holidays, watches, expensive meals, and of course, cars..
Ongoing into 2016, my Amazon FBA private label business was going good. Sales were solid and the cash flow was consistent. I honestly felt like I was on the top of the world for the first 1.5 years from starting my online business back in May 2015.
I felt like nothing could touch me. Nothing could stop me. I was the king and that was that. I will spend what I want. When I want. On whatever it was I wanted. Plain and simple. End of story.
During this reckless stage of my life, I was nothing more than an extremely naive and vulnerable young man (more of a kid). I will be the first to admit this. I didn’t have a care in the world for anything else but where the next chunk of cash was coming from and what I could splash out on upon receiving it. While I might of been living life like an apparent “Boss” back then, I should never of been spending the businesses earnings as much (or at all) like I was. It was beyond a joke and it was completely ridiculous.
Any who, going back to the car stuff..
In late 2017 (July time), I was making my way to a coffee shop in my local area and I drove passed the BMW garage on the outskirts of Haverfordwest (in Wales).
As I looked out of my right window, I noticed a glistening ice white BMW i8 starring me in the eye. And what a beautiful stare it was..
PLEASE NOTE: I had been daydreaming, fascinating and obsessing about going into a BMW garage and buying the BMW i8 for the last 3-4 years before actually going into enquire about it. The law of attraction was a strong asset of my being during these 3-4 years of envisioning buying this supercar. I would go downstairs and just sit in my car (The Audi), and I would close my eyes for what it seemed hours just imagining being behind the wheel of the BMW i8. In my mind, I had been driving this car for the last 3-4 years, all I had to do was put in the work in order to go and pick up the keys. This is how strong my vision was towards getting the BMW i8.
That day I was driving past the BMW garage, I decided to go in and check out the car I have been dreaming about for the last few years..
Less than 1-hour from the time I drove in, the BMW i8 was mine. I had locked myself in with a finance agreement and actually secured the car of my dreams.
The feeling of signing those papers was sensational. And when I drove the BMW i8 off the forecourt for the first time, the experience was magnificent (monumental understatement to say the least).
So, you’re probably sitting there reading this and thinking: “Hold up. I thought Chrissy J was going to talk about getting rid of these cars, not biggin’ them up!?”. Oh, I am. Believe me. I just wanted to give you an overview of entire experience and a little backstory before I continued to do so.
Just before I continue, let’s take a look at how much the incredible BMW i8 is actually costing me..
THE BMW i8
Agreement: Finance (4-years)
Initial deposit: Take a guess? (Post your answer below ;))
Monthly payment: £1,300 (approx)
Monthly insurance: £160 (approx)
Annual tax: FREE (part of the lease agreement)
Monthly fuel cost: £150 (approx)
My reasoning for getting the BMW i8:
The majority of this I have spoken about above, the last 4-years of imagining myself driving the car. It’s always been a car that I have wanted to own, to sit in, to stare at, to drive in sports mode.. 😉
I honestly believe that the biggest reason of me wanting the BMW i8 was to test myself. To really challenge my inner strength and ability. To see what I and am well and truly made of. This was enough to put an even bigger “WHY” into my mind to make this dream a reality.
FYI: I actually drive the Audi more than the i8 to keep the mileage down and because I often drive on bad roads down where I live in Wales, United Kingdom.
Don’t get me wrong, both cars are incredibly fun to drive. But as we have and will continue to speak about, THEY can be almost be the ones that drive you into a place of mental exhaustion, stress, disbelief and other health damaging factors IF your preparations are not fully in place when looking at buying one.
WHERE MY HEAD IS CURRENTLY AT
Right now, I feel like an absolute fool.
A fool that has made drastic mistakes in his life but a fool who has mighty courage and the will to make his own decisions.
I feel like I have two heads connected to my neck, and each is saying this..
Head one: THE DEVIL
“Keep the BMW i8 Chrissy boy. Be relentless in your approach, be fearless in your actions. Just like you preach to your supporters on social media and in life. Keep the car, struggle if needed and experience less when relevant. Don’t be such a little BIT$H!”
Head two: THE ANGEL
“You’re doing the right thing Chrissy J. You have experienced the car of your dreams for several months now. Hand the car back and continue to pursue your dreams in a much less pressuring state. It’s okay, nobody will think any less of you any of the decisions you are committed in making. Give the BMW i8 back Chris.”
Do you see the obstacle that is in my path?
I do, and so very clearly. This is why “THE ANGEL” is the clear winner this time around. The pressurising feelings that dawns on my soul, the headaches, the bouts of anxiety and other worries that come along with the build up of when the monthly payments are due to leave my account every 30-days. TOTAL FCUKIN’ PANIC STATIONS!
While I could afford these payments every month, the mental battles that I have been facing over the last few months are nowhere near worth the stress of what comes with owning both of these cars.
FYI: Just in case you think I am giving these cars back solely down to the reason that I cannot afford them, think again. It’s not about that, it’s about the feelings and hourly comparisons of what I am mustering up in my head of what else I could be doing with the money I am spending per month as opposed to owning these cars. I WILL be showing you my monthly income reports on my blog in full informational detail of how much money I actually make, so you and many others can see exactly my affordability towards things in life (these can be found and read on my blog).
There are all sorts of comparisons I make in regards to owning these cars every single day, such as:
1. Cars Vs. Travelling
The perfect example here would be this: Mike and Jamie (two of my besties) have ventured off the Australia to travel round for a whole year. To experience another side of the world, explore, discover and create more memories in life (well in lads).
During the time of the “Oz talks” with Mike and Jamie, I was barely even on the boarders of contributing to the conversation as all I could think about was driving the BMW i8. Looking back, it was selfish and and almost disgusting that I was paying such little attention to my friends even though I seemed the most “Keen” on the idea of travelling (not cool at all looking back).
Mike and Jamie are currently in Melbourne Australia and have asked me to fly over to join them come January 2018. To travel with them and experience Oz, New Zealand, Fiji and South East Asia over the next 12-18 months..
You can see where and why my thinking is in such a confused and scrambled state right now.
My friends have left with a nice chunk of change in their pockets, which would amount to just over 7+ months of monthly BMW i8 payments that I am currently making.
Now, this REALLY does mess my mind up when I think about what else I could be doing with this money..
Travelling the world or BMW i8? Hmmm.. *insert confused yet cute face here*
Let’s put it this way.. Flights to Australia are around £700 one way from the U.K. Accommodation would be pretty reasonable if done right at around £20-30 per night via AirBNB or even less if staying at a Hostel (which would be the case for most travellers).
I’m paying over £2,000 on cars per month..
Let me just repeat that for my own realisation..
I AM PAYING £2,000 ON CARS PER MONTH.
Holy $HIT! What the actual F!
What I will add is this: Getting both of these cars was my choice, nobody else’s. There is nobody I can or would ever want to blame for the situation that I am currently in. Only myself.
I think you get the point.
2. Cars Vs. Business
The thought of putting £2,000+ into my business per month instead of spending it on maintaining the cars that sit in my driveway (that I barely drive) is a constant reminder of excruciating frustration knowing how much more money I could turn that seemingly small amount into overtime.
I built up and grown my Amazon private label business from a tiny £2,400 start up amount into generating over £330,000+ in less than 2-years (which is over 27,000+ sales within that time frame).
Not bad Chrissy J..
Without sounding too big headed or cocky, I know how to start, build and scale up a business. And this is where the frustration lies. Knowing and realising this when looking at everything I have done and where I am right now, that I could of possibly (more like most definitely) could have taken a wiser, smarter and more sensible route instead of cruising round the mean streets pretending to be Drake in my shiny BMW i8.
My finance agreement is £1,300 x 48-months. Imagine the amount of money I could be making per day, per week, per month and per year with this monthly sum if I was to plug it into a current or new business of mine.
This is a comparison I make once per day without fail. Seriously..
MY MIND IS OFFICIALLY BLOWN YO.
3. Cars Vs. Relationships & Happiness
Before I dive in, I want to fire a question right at myself first:
Q-Me: “Am I happy right now in my current place of life?”
A-Me: “Overall, I am extremely happy. Yes. There are just a few things I would like to take care of to bring an ever bigger, brighter and happier version of myself to life. But in general, I am happy. I am just struggling to re-connect with the fulfilment and drive that I used to live with everyday before getting the 2nd car, the BMW i8.”
Personally, I believe that materialistic items in your life can drastically effect your life. Whether that’s for the improvement of your short term gratification or the long term dread of having them in your life. What ever the feeling is, they can definitely have an impact on your daily doings and overall life. Trust me, I know..
Over the last few months, I have had someone very special in my life that has changed my whole world. My girlfriend, Katie. Before meeting Katie, my fixation was working relentlessly and almost unhealthily every hour of the day. There would be days that I wouldn’t leave my apartment. Nights that I wouldn’t sleep. Days where I wouldn’t eat. There was weeks where I wouldn’t eve want to get up and go to the gym and lift weight, and that is one of my biggest passions and loves. All because I was so heavily addicted to the thing I call “The Good Hu$tle.”
Katie, if you are reading this. I cannot thank you enough for the joy and happiness you have brought me over the last few months. You have not only helped me to realise that there is more to life than just “Hu$tlin'”, earning money and being that “Somebody” that is trying so damn hard to be heard and to be noticed in this world. But you have opened my eyes up to a less serious and a much more enjoyable life. Katie, without you by my side, the real Chrissy J would never of been able to stand up. My girl, you are my rock. Thank you so so much! Here’s to life beautiful.. *Champagne celebration clang* 🙂
Even though Katie does love a good spin in the BMW i8 I must say ;).
“In order to become a master of your own discipline, you must learn to remove temptation in your life.”
If you face struggles such as living in the moment the same as I do, try this: When you have time, an hour or two, go and sit on the sand by the ocean, take a walk in the woods, a hike up a mountain or lie on the grass and stare at the beautiful night sky and it’s stars. Then make living in the moment your focus. Nothing more, nothing less. Just be present and enjoy being there and appreciating your surroundings for exactly what they are.
Living in the moment is something I have found to be an immense struggle over the last 2-years. At the end of the day, I have decided to make it simple. From this point on, I will do nothing but live in bliss, and do everything that makes me happy, more empowered and more present in life on a consistent daily basis. Becoming the true champion of who I am as an individual.
So, where does this leave me?
Except for in a MUCH better place after writing all of this out and getting A LOT off my chest, I guess I am going to call up BMW and ask for an early settlement fee for the once dreamt about BMW i8. Also, I will call Audi and ask for a settlement fee for baby blue too.
“WAIT UP Chrissy J, not so fast bro! How will you get around if you are looking to get rid of both of your cars!?”
I’m going to go out and buy a Range Rover Sport of course.. 😉
THE BMW i8 CONCLUSION
For the time being, I am just going to enjoy life as freely as I can and see where that takes me. I have an enormous passion for writing, creating content and providing value to others, so this is a path I will continue to take. Apart from that, having the freedom to travel, to donate more to charity and to help friends and family out is another major focus from this point moving forward.
No words can explain how refreshing this all is to get off my chest. Thank you for taking the time to read through this blog post. I do not only greatly appreciate it but I am extremely grateful, so thank you so SO much once again! 🙂
I am looking forward to living minimally again, with minimum monthly outgoings. To blog daily and enjoy the process of life. Training in the gym, sleeping, walking around and appreciating my surrounds with family and friends without the soul destroying feeling of knowing another large monthly payment is about to leave my account.
PLEASE NOTE: This blog post is not written to put you off any of your goals or dreams of making expenses purchases in your life, not at all. This is simply my experience towards everything I have done in regards to this in my life. I still encourage you to hit the bag harder, to swim longer, to run faster and to work even smarter than ever. All I want you to do is remember that life is going on right now, and never to forget those around us who matter, the locations that make us feel good and the things that make us smile. What ever it is your gunning for in life, make sure you pull the trigger harder, smarter and more relentlessly than anybody else. I don’t just encourage you to pursue your dreams, I urge you to.
Look, just because I want (I am) getting rid of my cars and reducing my outgoings for the short-term, doesn’t mean my goals are still more important than ever to achieve. I am forever envisioning the next best thing, just with a more strategical approach thats all. My next goal is my dream home..
You wanna see the style I’m going for? 😉
This is my favourite from what I have been looking at recently:
And here is the second one I am really digging’, yo:
Likey? I thought you might ;).
Make sure you keep dropping in on my monthly income reports to see if I am on track for buying my dream house in the next few years homie.
“Be the hardest worker in the room, every single time.”
“Life is a preparation for the future; and the best preparation for the future is to live as if there were none.”
Pssst, hey you! Remember up top when I asked you how much you thought the initial deposit was for the BMW i8? Be sure to post your guess below in the comments section! Chat to you soon friend! 😉